There absolutely has to be a God, big G! Because, design is everything. If humanity were not created to be in relationship with one another, I promise I would be a recluse. Even my father, who wanted to escape the world, could not exist in a black hole of NO relationships. Now, he did arrange his life so he didn’t have relationships that bugged him to overly much. But though he, was an INTROVERT to the maximum he could not live a solitary existence.
That is how I KNOW there is a God.
We cannot live in a vacuum or a vortex.
Why does this bother me?
Because, as Carolyn Webber of, Surprised by Oxford, says, “It is all so messy!” If I didn’t need to be in relationships with people then I wouldn’t have to be concerned about being awkward. If I were not compelled by design to be with others, I would stay at my home on my swing reading ALONE everyday. Many dear friends counsel that, “I would miss so much.” I know that they are right.
I would miss needing to ask folks, especially my husband, to forgive me.
I would miss dressing a bit nicer (without food on my clothes) and smiling when I don’t feel like it.
I would miss constantly being self-absorbed with various inane minutia.
AHHHHHHH! I know this truth! To be alone forever is a bitter existence filled with arrogant self-absorption.
It just takes so much courage! Courage to NOT think constantly about myself and whether people like me or get me or even see me. Be BRAVE, Jen. Love others. Get out there, it is why He made you.
I Promise… if HE, the Great He, had not made me with the relationship button, I would put on my introvert coat and be invisible, non-existent everywhere I would go. I would have as many excuses as anyone else has for crawling into a relationship hole. So, why don’t I and why don’t I recommend the hole? Because to love is to obey HIM. And sanity lies in obedience. And isolation is not in the design for me or anyone. Freedom is in the obedience.
So… and therefore…
I move toward God first and He fills me with His design. Then I am equipped with what I need for family, school, church, loving my neighbors (Whom, by the way, are vastly lovable!), even Sunday School Class, and all the other opportunities Christ gives me to share this life with. Praise Him! For, truthfully, the brokenness is bearable in the betweens of loving others.
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